Come to the edge...

"Come to the edge, he said. They said:
We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them,
And they flew..."
- Guillaume Apollinaire

Well yesterday I came to the edge and God pushed me. I’m not sure if I flew, but I know I left the security of the nest. You are probably wondering what in the world am I talking about. Yesterday I gave notice at work of my intent to leave at the end of the month. I had been praying about it since October, but yesterday I was “pushed” by God and I knew it was time. Many of you might be thinking, “What’s so hard or so big about resigning?” First I resigned a nice paying job for no job. Keegan and I have always taught our children you don’t leave one job until you have another, but that’s just what I did. Second I gave my career of nursing to the Lord and said it’s yours. I have clung to it as a stronghold forever, but I am going to let God become my stronghold of security. I would say that was two pretty big steps for me to take in one day. My boss is not a believer in Jesus Christ, and he certainly didn’t understand the what or the why of my leaving and was deeply disappointed that I would abandon him. I don’t know if I would have done it if God had not divinely orchestrated it for me and given me the resolve to say the words “I’m leaving.”

Now you are probably thinking, “OK, why are you leaving?” For the last year or so Keegan and I have been talking about and dreaming about my returning to full time ministry to work along side him and to also work at CAM center as a full time volunteer. My wonderful husband sees gifts in me I’m not sure are there and feels like I have something to offer there at CAM and being with him in his travels and his work. I too have felt that God wants more of me than I have been willing to give since we returned from Mexico 7 years ago. My journal reminds me of all I have said to the Lord, and now He is asking me to trust Him. He’s never failed me and I should have no doubts, but I must confess I do have fears and doubts. Pray for me as I come to mind. I want to fly…..

I love this thought of Beth Moore: “The wonders God wants to do in all our tomorrows are prepared for in our todays.”